As we bring in a new year it is a great time to think about new beginnings by letting go of old ideas.
It is the time of year when much attention is given to looking back at the previous year and looking ahead to a fresh start. One of the most common questions we will hear this week is: “Did you make any resolutions?”
Typically, a resolution is an action or activity you will start or stop doing. When in fact some of the best resolutions can be to let go of a feeling or idea. What are the things we are holding onto that we can release to make space for the new resolutions to take hold? How about the bucket list items from a different phase of our life, an old identity, a resentment, grudge or regret?
Once you have identified the idea or feeling, you are ready to reframe the situation, which is a key step in being able to let it go.
In his book, The Power of Regret, Daniel Pink shares research about how regret works in the brain and strategies to release its hold on individuals’ lives. A few reframing strategies that I found helpful include: writing a letter to yourself in the third person with expert advice of how to move forward, or write a letter to yourself about the regretful situation as if you were writing it to your friend. We are often more compassionate with others, so our advice to others will be more kind than the thoughts in our mind. Kind thoughts are easier to let go of. Another strategy is to talk about the regret in a voice recorder for 15 minutes for three days in a row. Or to distance yourself by viewing the circumstance like a fly on the wall as a neutral observer.
And finally, have your 2023 regrets become your 2024 resolutions. If you regret not reaching out to a friend or family member, have your 2024 resolution be to reach out to them. In essence, turn your inaction regret into an action resolution. If your friend or family member has since passed away or you cannot locate them, then have your 2024 resolution be that you will release your regret that you lost touch through one of the strategies above. Letting go of old ideas will make room for new beginnings.
Happy New Year.